The MCA Days - Silence Is Not Golden

I thought immediately upon signing that I would be none stop;all systems go but  it couldn't have been further from the truth. I am sure there were meetings about me but I most certainly wasn't at them. Instead I spent the next few months, spending my hard earned cash...hmmmm hardly hard earned, I was barely out of School.

The first thing on the agenda and as instructed by my Manager was to buy an apartment in London and relocate. I spent 3 months looking at property all across the City and Suburbs and finally settled on a bijou conversion in Willesden Green, NW2 (well I had to keep my northernness somehow). Plus it was easy for Mom and Dad to get to,straight off the M1.

London was alluring and exciting,  I had always said to Mom and Dad that I would move there...well, before my planned, dramatic migration to the USA which was going to happen once I'd racked up enough sales and the movie directors were calling.

However, although the label was there, my future was there and my beautiful new apartment was there; which I was now paying for, it took months before I could pluck up enough courage to uproot and leave my friends and family behind.To be honest if  it wasn't for the fact that my Parents at that time were going through a very rough patch, I'm not sure I even would have.

In typical 'Rebekah Ryan' fashion there had to be some sort of heart ache to send me fleeing for sanctuary, although still to this day that's never benefited my emotional well being. You'll soon start to see the repetitive cycle of flight or stay that clung to me like the plague for the next 10 Years of my life but we'll get to that.

I can honestly say that I was shocked by the absence of music and performance in my Life at this crucial time of my artistic growth. It felt like the label had banked me...I was doing nothing for months. I had gone from gigs to auditions to theater performances to the studio and then to zilch, SILENCE! I honestly couldn't get my head around it and slowly the frustrated artist tantrums became frequent occurrences.

Before my signing I had met a wonderful Acting Agent called Jenny who I had met at the TV Studios whilst filming 'Pot Of Gold'. Jenny had taken an instant liking to me when people thought that I was her daughter at the studio and had worked hard since our initial meeting to kick start my acting profession; securing me an audition for a Major film and getting my professional acting head shots done.

Jenny was a wonderful, warm glamorous lady with a wealth of contacts that had high hopes for my acting ability and I really trusted her judgment.

It was about this disappointingly quiet time that Jenny approached my Manager and asked if they could work together on developing my career, she handling the acting side and Brian the music side. Consequently after their only meeting, I never saw or heard from Jenny again...my first taste of the disastrous decision making that would be made on my behalf, with no logic or explanation.

Yet another clear example of how my own ideas and dreams meant nothing.

The MCA Days - The Signature

My hand slightly trembled as I signed the contract placed before me and I couldn't figure out whether it was the 5 Albums that made me nervous (which would probably equate to the next 15 years of my life) or the fact that everyone in the room was about to witness my appalling signature, that was the one thing I didn't practice in my bedroom in front of the mirror.

note:check out the awful autograph 

The Sterling Silver pen which I held in my hand felt like the china your Mom only brings out at Christmas; saved purely for special occasions and an obvious extravagance. The distinct immaturity of my legible autograph sat on the dotted line with glaring mediocrity. I always felt like it wasn't a household name unless it was coming from my Mothers mouth and at full voice. Of course my name wouldn't feel that way to me, it was me, I grew up with the darn thing and actually remember hating it so much as a child. It didn't seem to have the popstar ring to it like my idols...Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin or Striesand it sounded significantly boring...or at least to me it was anyway.

Once the papers were signed by all parties involved it felt like I could breath again, everyone shook hands and champagne flutes were raised. The deal was DONE!

Now, we could get down to business.....hopefully.

The MCA Days - A New Home

We've all heard the term 'Pushy Parents' and somewhere along the line I'm sure we've all experienced them.

'Pushy parents' can have a detrimental affect on an Artists career if they get too involved in things they know very little about and in some cases send some managers and labels running for the hills and completely ruin their childs chances of realising their dream.

Thankfully, mine were the kind of folk that did as much as they could to get me where they thought I deserved to be and when the deal was done slipped quietly back into their normal humble existence and watched proudly as their years of guidance and belief seemingly started to pay off.

The Day of the signing was a HUGE DEAL to myself and my family (it was happening). Mom, Dad and I were up bright and breezy to catch the early morning train down to London. My Mom hated London and still does to this day, it's way too big and fast for her. My Mother was born and raised in Tamworth and if I am honest has never really had the desire or inclination to be any where else (I've always secretly wished that I was like my Mother in this way and didn't have such dreams of grandeur) but alas I got stuck with the 'always wanting more' syndrome.

My Father on the other hand is exactly like me...a musician/songwriter who also had some minor success in the 60's being signed to Polydor. Sadly, my Dad was a product of the times and was ripped off massively and left with some pretty bad emotional scars that I don't ever really believe he's truly gotten over but hey...the curse of the Artist.

We arrived in London; all three of us dressed up like we were dining at The Ritz and were collected by our chauffeur driven car which would deliver us rather pretentiously to the MCA offices on Hyde Park Corner. Here we were greeted by my Manager Brian and my hot shot Lawyer at Sheridans.

I remember glancing at my Mom and Dad and feeling their sense of unease about the environment they were in; even though they were overjoyed by the prospect of household success for their youngest Daughter. I wistfully imagined us back in our small Town making small talk in our local Cafe over tea and cake, it all felt so business like now and not creative at all. This new chapter in my life was a far cry from my local drama club or The National Youth Theatre that I was part of where I was surrounded by people of my own age all having fun with our intangible dreams. I felt like I was ageing emotionally already.

We waited briefly in the reception of the Record Label and were soon joined by my head of A&R the lovely Steve Wolfe. As I mentioned in an earlier Post, it was Steve that had actually spotted be on the talent show 'Pot Of Gold' and he that contacted Brian my manager and suggest that he find me (it didn't take too long to find out that me signing to MCA was in fact no coincidence at all). What I learned within this very brief space of time from development to signing was that it was always going to be MCA that won the prize and the other meetings and negotiations over the past few months had all all just been part of the hype. What I mean by this is that shlepping me around to other major labels got people talking (the right kind of people, including BIG industry Lawyers) within the music industry and created a buzz, the outcome was always going to be the same.The deal was done behind my back before I even stepped foot in my first recording studio.

All five of us climbed the grand, curved, all white marble staircase up to the Managing Directors office.

Believe it or not I wasn't actually too familiar with the BIG BOSS himself; Mr Nicholas Phillips. Nick was of a class that I hadn't really frequented myself with at this stage in  my life; a very well educated, public school boy type; crisp Ralph Lauren shirts tucked into flawlessly pressed jeans and a passion for classic cars and immaculate women with double-barrel names.

As we entered Nicks office the first thing that hit me was the light; floor to ceiling windows with a balcony overlooking hyde park and the sheer size of it was totally unreasonable. It must have been bigger per square footage than my mom and dads entire house. The second thing that hit me was the athletic and rather handsome man that politely rose from behind his mahogany desk as the humble party entered the room.

Nick offered out his hand in greeting, first to my Father, then my Mother and finally to me (yeah this Man knew how to work it.).

After the obvious pleasantries, we were very soon down to business.

The hefty, bible like contract was carried in from another room by the Record Labels Lawyer with as much care as a glass slipper on a velvet pillow and all eyes at that moment were on it.

Although I was eager to sign and get this party started anything that thick had to be carrying some kind of complex distortion of the truth, I thought....but hey I was young.....who doesn't believe everything they're told?

Taking The Horse To Market

The next few months for me was the most exciting time of my career, my feet literally did not touch the ground.

This is what the industry calls 'The Development Stage'...

First came the Music. I had songs being crafted for me by one of the industries most successful writers/producers of that time within the UK, 'Nigel Lowis.

I'd like to make you aware as I think its important for artists to know this...that at this point of my career and aged 17 I had no input whatsoever in the creative or A&R process. It was clear from the start, vividly clear that I was to have no say in what I sounded like...I was to be told what to sing, how to look and how to act. This is where the term 'POP PUPPET' comes from because at this point thats exactly what you are. Back in the 90's the industry was full of them so I was no different we were put on the production line like Barbie Dolls, commodities but hell it was still FUN!! haha...we were living the dream!

Anyway, back to my whirl wind three months...

After the music was written I had my first taste of a REAL Studio. I remember walking into the vocal booth and for a moment feeling extremely isolated and alone...not being able to hear if people were talking about me through the glass...possibly only half sharing conversations. Then.. once I'd taken a few deep breaths and calmed my nerves I asked that the lights in the booth be turned down; I earthed myself and as the music came through the headphones I opened my mouth and sang. WOW!!! I felt like I had died and gone to heaven the sound was clear, warm and pure..the music wrapping itself around me like a note knitted blanket. In that moment in that space, my space I began my life time love affair with THE RECORDING STUDIO.

Nothing In This World - Rebekah Ryan - Written by B.Bacharach/N.Lowis

Once the tracks had been recorded, polished and enough 'magic dust' had been sprinkled all over them (another sign of the times. Everything for female artists was...well...pretty...really, really pretty) it was time to sort out the image.

Now, as you know by now I'm from a Town in the midlands...my options for fashion were, I would say limited at that time. However I knew LABELS....I knew my designer brands and I'm not talking your LEVI's or your Gio Goi or NIKE...I'm talking your Chanel, Armani, DKNY, Gucci. Never in a month of Sundays did I think that I would be wearing them, not at 17 anyway or ever in fact ??

I was taken shopping on Bond Street by manager and well lets just say it felt like a scene from Pretty Woman...he must have spent thousands (well I spent thousands but we'll discuss that at a later date). We had the young store assistants literally shaking with delight...kaa-ching!! £££££££

Then it was off to Trevor Sorbie to have my hair cut by the senior stylist in Convent Garden (he was quite dishy actually, although too old haha).

By the time Brian (my manager) had finished putting me through my remodel, I came out looking like I already WAS a STAR!

Then and only then was this race horse ready to take to market!

I was taken from label to label by Brian (who chaperoned my every move); MCA, POLYDOR, COLUMBIA, EMI, LONDON meeting after meeting all the time witnessing him hype and wind up this machine. I was taken to parties, bars, restaurants, show cases, gigs...I don't even think I had time to take it all in. My life had changed soooo dramatically in such a small amount of time in fact it was unrecognisable and so was I. I remember getting really homesick at this time and missing my friends and boyfriend (who was still fairly new) and of course my family desperately. It did feel slightly that I was being propelled to adulthood on the fast track...and everything had become sooo serious. It's probably no wonder then looking back, that it was at this time that I started to experiment with drugs.

It wasn't long before I had 3 Major Record Deals on the table....MCA, COLUMBIA and POLYDOR. I remember feeling and saying that I really wanted to sign to Columbia simply because Barbara Streisand and I could be label buddies!! Plus I really liked the A&R man Mick Clark...he seemed honest and passionate about music and I got a cool vibe from him.

However, although I did get free tickets to see my idol in concert and a limited edition box set...my dream of being label buddies never came to fruition and eventually after a lot of carrot dangling I was told that I would be signing with MCA.